Puthu Vellai Mazhai

Onam Celebration at our apartments were super fun in 2016. Right from morning, all ladies were engrossed in Pookkalam making, Sadya, and our evening performance of Thiruvathira kali...

After Thiruvathirakkali, when I was asked to try out a Karaoke singing; I was not too confident how it would turn out to be. Out of available list of Karaokes, only 1 song I knew fully as well...That's how I ended up in trying out "Puthu Vellai Mazai", the evergreen ARR composition.

Sharing the same here, as the first upload in "Music is my Life" page.

The full version could not be uploaded due to size limitation. Once I sort it out, will add it here.Till then, enjoy this one!!

Experiment with Colors!

After a gap of many years, when got a chance to take my brush to do a painting; my main intent was to have fun with colors and relive the school time painting memories...

However, I found myself totally obsessed with it soon, and the final outcome is the one below:

Extremely pleased with my experiment with colors; happiness was doubled, when this painting bagged a third in the contest as well...a motivation to take the brush more often! :)

Wish, It was True!

It was just another ordinary working day, when I was stuck to my chair, with no other thought than the critical programming running inside my head. At least, that’s what I thought until that afternoon when I stepped out for a bit of fresh air.

It would have been easy for me to ignore the girl who was coming opposite to me in the stairs, considering the state of my mind - pre-occupied with the programming intricacies. However, the depth of sorrow infused in her eyes were so piercing that it just struck me hard and her hurried steps made me feel that she was rushing to avoid any eye contact from anyone.

Her name was Geetha and she sits in an adjacent cubicle of mine. The occasional interactions I have had so far with her, always had left me with an impression of her being a simple, quiet and naïve sort of person.

As I quickly finished my tea and hurried back, I kept wondering, “what disturbing thought might she be battling with”. As I was reaching near my seat, I peeped to check if she was back in her cubicle already and I could see her talking in phone quite animatedly, with tears rolling down her eyes ; unmistakably hinting at some serious issue.

Hoping whatever it may be, she will settle down soon, I plunged back into the jungle of code and was engrossed for at least an hour, since getting back to my cubicle. Suddenly, I noticed that she was hurrying towards the washroom direction and feeling something is not right, I felt an urge to go talk to her somehow.

Quickly, I completed my status email to my manager and rushed in her direction. I found her in the washroom washing her face frantically, and to her surprise, I went and softly touched her shoulder. When she turned back trying hard to put a false smile without any purpose, I directly enquired if anything is wrong; half hoping that she would not deny that, leaving no room for my provoking further. After a little pause, to my surprise she all of a sudden broke out sobbing hard and I hugged her to calm her shivering self. I was just repeating to her that everything will be fine and not to worry and be strong. When she seemed to be settling down, I asked her to wash face again, and with no words exchanged, we took a little stroll outside the office premises, with my hand firmly gripping hers. When returned, she seemed to look better than before and gave me that innocent smile that I wanted to see again on her face. I just patted her and returned back to my seat, feeling better myself.

It was when I was about to leave the office, wrapping up the pending works, that I noticed an unread mail without any subject line in my inbox, from Geetha. I quickly clicked the mail open and this is how it read.

"Hi,

If not for the silent moments spent with you, you may have not seen me in this world again. In front of the agony I was passing through, life seemed to have lost its gleam for a while.

You gave me strength, when I most needed that. Holding your hands, I literally stepped out of the darkness around me.

Thank you for being my light.

Geetha "

I sat trembling with popped out eyes, trying to digest what she was hinting at. Tears trickled down and I felt a sense of peace filling within.

A sudden jolt and I sat upright, sweating profusely. As reality started sinking in, the sense of peace I was feeling a moment earlier was completely replaced with a choking heaviness in heart.

I wish, what I just saw was true… I wish, I had known that she was under some terrible stress and had really taken the walk with her… I wish, she had got strength from someone… I wish, she could open up with someone close… I wish, she had thought about her dear family and parents who loved her dearly… I wish, she had not quit …

I wish, I was not on my way to the Hospital with her teammates now, to bid final Good Bye to her mortal self.

I wish…. I wish….

Written on - 26 October, 2015

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This short story is close to my heart for two reasons. One being the fact that this story is inspired from a real incident that happened to my old teammate Geetha who was found dead in a railway track, where she had no evident reason to go. No one knows still, what really happened to her and why. And my mind used to spin so many possibilities within my mind, to reason it out. 

Years later, when we organized a Short Story Contest as part of our account's Impromptu Club; I strongly felt like writing about her. 

I dedicate the First prize that I won for this short-story to Geetha and pray for her soul to rest in peace.

What Next?

Most likely I know her! But without being sure if I approach her, I could be misunderstood for playing a trick as well. It’s been almost 8 years since I last saw her – on our final day at school. So, this familiarity I am strongly feeling could even be misleading. After all it’s said that there are around 9 look alike in this entire world for any person.

But what if it is really ‘her’, what if God has brought ‘her’ in front of me for a reason, what if God has finally decided to pay back my lost happiness… As though fed me with Boost, these thoughts gave me a push not to think too much and just go ahead boldly and talk to her. She was sitting in the very next compartment, facing opposite to me in the side lower berth. Being a long weekend, the train was unusually packed today. And approaching her for confirming my doubt could mean that my seat will be attacked and occupied by the enemy intruders (standing) the very next moment. But at this moment, even standing all the way down until my station for 6 hours seemed a simple thing in front of the ‘greater calling’!

Muttering a silent prayer, I got up from my seat and had taken half a step forward that a pompous heavily built person noticed his opportunity to put to rest his lavishly fed body. But in a hurry when he fitted himself within the seat, my comparatively tiny self  had an unfortunate strike against him and was almost thrown out of balance. In the attempt to find a hold and balance myself – I took a big leap on top of the suitcases spread in front aiming my hand to get a hold of the bar in front.  As if God was in his naughty best, as a result of few more merciless pushes I got from the bystanders (as though they wanted to either spit their fury of missing the seat I left unoccupied or to avoid my falling on top of them) alas – I ended up toppling above ‘her’. When I quickly got myself up and gathered courage to look at her, my heart missed a beat seeing the fury in her eyes. Strangely enough, I heard a loud laughter echoing from somewhere distant – as if God was having a gala time making me look like a fool in front of ‘her’. To show my protest, I looked towards the ceiling with burning eyes, when I heard a familiar voice saying – ‘ Don’t you have the minimum manners to even say a SORRY?’ And at that very instant I got the very answer I was seeking for – few moments ago. It was indeed ‘her’…the same very sharp and mature voice, with the element of boldness that is not common among all girls. And this realization almost brought a slight smile to my face – instead of what she was expecting from me. And quite expectedly, I got the next missile attack straight on my head – ‘Shameless guy! How dare you smile at me like this when you should be feeling sorry for what you did? If you intentionally fell on top of me, I will teach you a lesson, you idiot!’ Wiping off the untimely smile, I fumbled a quick SORRY and looked away from her as I could not bear the intensity of her fury and looks.

Within my mind, I had a quick conversation with God scolding him for creating this stupid situation along with what looked like a blessing. ‘Was this really necessary for you? I cancel your ‘Palpayasam’ (Rice Kheer) offering planned during this weekend’s temple visit’! With that, I felt as though the distant laughter also stopped ringing within my ears.

Having settled scores with Him, I came back to my senses and started contemplating on what to do next. Knowing her, I dinn dare to start a conversation immediately. I knew that if I even looked at her again, she was very much capable of pouncing at me with her furious looks – scolding!

In the midst of the confusion about my next action plan, I involuntarily drifted to those old times. It all seem like happened just yesterday!  It was in my Class XI that she had joined us. My otherwise forgetful brain however seems to have captured eternally each and every moment of that day – leaving no small details.

Our Physics teacher – with the reputation of being the synonym of ‘Strictness’ had begun his class and as though none dared to provoke his fury, were sitting with pin-drop silence – pretending to be grasping each and every word falling out of his mouth! He was busy drawing some complicated Vector diagram on the green-board, when suddenly few loud knocks were heard at the door. Since he has a habit of shutting off our connection with the outside world before starting with his classes, we were unable to find out who was giving these impatient knocks. Clearly irritated, Sir shouted from inside – ‘COME IN!!’ The whole class had got a sudden spur of energy as though watching the climax of some suspense thriller movie. After all, not every day do we get such entertainment in between this monotonously boring class.  

All eyes were glued to the door, when the door was opened with a quick push. And there stood a girl with an unusual charm and a sternness that clearly gave the message that she is not to be messed with! Distracting my gaze fixed on her, Sir let his fury known by calling out – ‘WHAT DO YOU WANT?’ Her eyes suddenly bulged out as if in surprise at his rudeness. But to everyone’s surprise, with unshaken voice she answered him in a sharp tone – ‘My name is Lavanya and am joining this class from today’. Hearing this, a gush of whispers sprouted from the class. Throwing a stern glance at the class, Sir asked her to take her seat. She took the side seat in the second row and quickly got settled. I could feel that most of class – except the first row, was facing towards the board with the eyes sneaking in her direction!

‘MOVE ASIDE’, a loud command was heard from just behind and I came back to present. The train was slowing down to stop at the nearby station and a big family lined up with their entire luggage to get down, was being blocked by my lost self. I quickly gave way and in between from the corner of my eyes, tried to figure out what Lavanya was doing then. I was literally petrified since she was nowhere seen. Was she also getting down in this station? Maybe she took the other side to get down. In a hurry, I walked towards the other exit pushing away all the blocking crowds. All the irritated mutterings and pushes were totally ignored and forgiven, in the aim of spotting her again.

….. To be continued

 NOTE: This short story was written on 2012/08/20, but still it is unfinished. :) When I find the rare combination of free time n mood, will definitely be sitting to write the climax of the story!

Conversation with Self!

It is easy to ask to change.
But live through my life for one day,
To know how it feels like 'Being the Change'!

Being true to your self,
Might be a sin, for the world.
But when the clarity strikes,
Not being so will only make you wonder,
What you are doing to your self!

The calling is so strong,
That ignoring is impossible, even if attempted to.
The very meaning of existence,
Is no silly reason to feel drawn,
With a mind turned focused, and intentions strong!

All the dots that have met,
And the ones that look stranded,
Perhaps were meant to be,as they are now.
Only struggle is in doing justice,
To what is thought as  conventionally right,
Even when the mind strays, and rushes to the target!

Label me as wrong,
Hate me to the core,
However, what really matters is,
The actualization of self.
No wonder the suffocation mounts,
When we are constantly pulled down,
To lead the life of an uninspired self.
One who has tasted the bliss of your true self,
Will fail to return from the state,
Where there is peace-galore!

Life is not about the scripted rules.
Whoever tries to jump over this boundary,
Are not to be considered fools.
When the calling is very much from the heart,
Being forced to ignore it, will only rip your soul apart.
Whatever follows, is only a test of your grit and chivalry!

Not even a leaf moves,
Without God's will.
Perhaps you gain your strength as well from Him,
To be able to traverse this tempestuous journey with a strong will!


Written on January 1, 2017