Conversation with Self!

It is easy to ask to change.
But live through my life for one day,
To know how it feels like 'Being the Change'!

Being true to your self,
Might be a sin, for the world.
But when the clarity strikes,
Not being so will only make you wonder,
What you are doing to your self!

The calling is so strong,
That ignoring is impossible, even if attempted to.
The very meaning of existence,
Is no silly reason to feel drawn,
With a mind turned focused, and intentions strong!

All the dots that have met,
And the ones that look stranded,
Perhaps were meant to be,as they are now.
Only struggle is in doing justice,
To what is thought as  conventionally right,
Even when the mind strays, and rushes to the target!

Label me as wrong,
Hate me to the core,
However, what really matters is,
The actualization of self.
No wonder the suffocation mounts,
When we are constantly pulled down,
To lead the life of an uninspired self.
One who has tasted the bliss of your true self,
Will fail to return from the state,
Where there is peace-galore!

Life is not about the scripted rules.
Whoever tries to jump over this boundary,
Are not to be considered fools.
When the calling is very much from the heart,
Being forced to ignore it, will only rip your soul apart.
Whatever follows, is only a test of your grit and chivalry!

Not even a leaf moves,
Without God's will.
Perhaps you gain your strength as well from Him,
To be able to traverse this tempestuous journey with a strong will!


Written on January 1, 2017

The Precious Final Moments with U!

Searching through the unknown,
Are my moist eyes, for a glimpse of yours!
A gush of wind when blown,
To caress me, with its soft touch,
I wonder if that as well is an act of yours!

Every silent moment I get to spend with,
Drifts my mind, taking a journey back into those times,
When I was living through your love,
Realizing little, the true value of those times.
Now that you faded into unknown realms,
I yearn to see you at least in my dreams!

Even while my eyes widened with shock,
Seeing your half paralyzed self,
With swollen and closed eyes,
I tried to be brave ma, and also full of hope;
That like always, you would get better,
And soon will be with me, in our own sweet little world!

Even when you were crying out of pain,
I tried sounding like a sage,
Trying to fill you with hope, with consoling words!

In the midst of all the agony,
When you still seeked my baby-belly,
My heart was torn apart ma, with a sharp pain.
I still tried to look neutral, as I took,
Your weak arm to feel it,
I can still feel your touch, when you had stroked it so lovingly,
As though imparting your blessings,
To that little life, you were so eagerly waiting to see!

I still can't believe that those -
Were my final moments with you in your senses.
For next when I had seen you,
You had drifted into that silent world,
From where, you could never return!

On your way to that dreadful ICU,
While I was kissing you -
I was fighting my fears, ma -
Afraid to lose you, to the merciless hands of fate!

Those brief moments I got to visit you again at the bedside,
While I was blabbering my heart out, in your ears,
I did spot a tear rolling down from your right eye.
Did you really hear me, ma?
Was that indeed a tear, shed out of helplessness,
Triggered by your subconscious mind - that was registering my words?

How I had longed to see at least a blink,
Of that weak, but beautiful brown eyes,
But all I could see was, just your motionless body,
Befitted with all sorts of machines.
Only sign of life being, those heavy labored breaths you were taking,
As though fighting a battle, to grab your life back!

With a numb mind, when I visited you the last time;
Little did I know, that you were soon going -
To succumb to the cruel hands of death!

As though you wished to see me - one last time,
You held on to your loosening grip on life, until I returned to your bedside the final time!
For soon after, Papa had come bewildered,
With the news that you have started sinking away!

We knew you were soon going to leave us,
Into that world so unknown -
And amidst the gasps, cries and advises pouring in;
I sat paralyzed, with all the held back tears, finally rolling down!!!!

Written on: Nov 21, 2012

A 'No Title' more of Scribbling than a Poem...

All the castles we built,
All the dreams we shared,
About a future so bright,
With the loved ones we cared.

Its all lost, now that you are gone,
Into a world that is so unknown!

Howsoever I make my make my heart understand,
The intense pain, am hardly able to withstand!

Written on: Nov 1, 2012
This was the day my mother was supposed to take her Voluntary Retirement from her service as a teacher, that she was pushing forth in spite of all the pain she was fighting inside. She had been waiting eagerly for this day to complete her service years and then rest at home, wherein her granddaughter was soon set to arrive. But God had different plans for her..

Waking out of Hibernation..

Since my very last post, life has been kind of acting quite strange to me...Loss of dear ones one after another...Birth of our little princess...Hectic schedules at work...managing work and challenging situations at home...everything literally had been keeping me away from my dearest blog..

I should thank few of my friends, who kept reminding and encouraging to strike back...and here I am, finally sitting with my lap ON, to post something meaningful...

I should admit that it does help to write our heart out...when we are emotionally a mess...the same words can actually help us come overcome any prevailing heaviness, when we read those lines again..

Today, I was going through my little diary through which I used to converse with my mother for few months, after she left this world...In between those daily entries, I happened to see many short verses I had jotted down and long forgotten...May be I should start back with those very lines today...

Ball Point Sketch - Ocean View

A weekend well utilized! :)

Am glad I finally sat down patiently to "create" something after so long! 

Little differently than usual, this time what accompanied my venture was a "ball point pen".. ;)

Looking at the plain white sheet, myriad images had flashed through my mind - to try and sketch...

However, it was finally the "ocean" that triggered my mood...

Unlike the "look and draw" attempts I usually do, 

this time ventured to explore and sketch an image totally out of imagination...

And I must say, the satisfaction we get to "create something out of the blue" is truly immense!

If I have to share my own opinion about the sketch,
I feel that if the man holding the umbrella had been omitted, the pic would have given a stronger appeal...:)
The man seems to have added a cartoon feel to the picture..:)
esp. with the umbrella that went little out of proportion...
Mainly since I dinn rely on an initial pencil sketch to go about this one...
and had straight away started  with the ball point pen...

However, I really enjoyed creating all those lovely waves in the ocean as well as the boulders 'n rocks...

Looking forward to know your opinions and suggestions...!!!

Fused bulb - Beautified!! ;)

A milky white fused bulb - that inspired my imagination!! :)